Rainy days are here...I love rains and how it motivates me to express myself in many forms.
Today is raining as we are expecting any time soon super typhoon to hit at its hardest. I'm at my room now, safe and sound. I hear the raindrops pour into our roofs, I just can't think of that young boy who usually would have the fuel to express his thoughts during this season.
Suddenly I missed him. I missed my-old-self. I missed how he expressed himself and how he deals with his emotions and how he transforms those emotions into something rather than let it flew away once he is done with it. I missed my painting sessions while I use the raindrops as the music to my ears. I Still remember, I could write quite a few chapters from the novels I wrote when it was raining...specially when it was raining hard : ) I missed creating stuffs out of scraps while the raindrops gives me the drive to think out of the box so I could turn an item into its better version. I may not want to write this, but yes I did wrote numerous poems about life & love and some unforgettable love letters too during rainy days. I symbolically put all those piece of art in a box, perhaps just like with my any other possessions, I want to preserve its value. Then, I never looked back again. I closed the cabinet that contains those items, I heard the young boy screamed, trying to move out from the dark corners of the cabinet. I pretended not to hear him.
Aside from blogging in an on and off manner, I realized I had lost track of the boy who uses mentioned mediums to console his feelings. Now, he had changed a lot. He now could digest the things that are happening around him without using an extension to absorb the thoughts and sensations he is engaged with. Yet he cannot claim that he does not stumble when big waves are hitting him. I guess, he just learned quite a few tricks in dealing with life and its complexities. He had learned to say yes when he means yes and a big no when needed. He is more comfortable with the people around him, and is not after shielding himself against damages others may bring to him. He is more honest with himself and would acknowledge his capabilities and limitations. He had not yet reach the top of his aspirations yet comfortable enough where he is at this point in time, might he be afraid of what tomorrow may bring but is willing to take full advantage of the opportunities both visible and foreseeable.
To you young boy... I realized life should not be captured in a canvass, should not be hidden with words engraved in papers, it is here with me every moment I open my eyes, the very moment I felt a sensation, every time I interact with people and with nature. I may be too busy exhausting my force in exploring essence of life but I'll try to sit down once in a while, knock at my door when it is raining... so I could still connect with you and be able to convert moments with memories : )
Today is raining as we are expecting any time soon super typhoon to hit at its hardest. I'm at my room now, safe and sound. I hear the raindrops pour into our roofs, I just can't think of that young boy who usually would have the fuel to express his thoughts during this season.
Suddenly I missed him. I missed my-old-self. I missed how he expressed himself and how he deals with his emotions and how he transforms those emotions into something rather than let it flew away once he is done with it. I missed my painting sessions while I use the raindrops as the music to my ears. I Still remember, I could write quite a few chapters from the novels I wrote when it was raining...specially when it was raining hard : ) I missed creating stuffs out of scraps while the raindrops gives me the drive to think out of the box so I could turn an item into its better version. I may not want to write this, but yes I did wrote numerous poems about life & love and some unforgettable love letters too during rainy days. I symbolically put all those piece of art in a box, perhaps just like with my any other possessions, I want to preserve its value. Then, I never looked back again. I closed the cabinet that contains those items, I heard the young boy screamed, trying to move out from the dark corners of the cabinet. I pretended not to hear him.
Aside from blogging in an on and off manner, I realized I had lost track of the boy who uses mentioned mediums to console his feelings. Now, he had changed a lot. He now could digest the things that are happening around him without using an extension to absorb the thoughts and sensations he is engaged with. Yet he cannot claim that he does not stumble when big waves are hitting him. I guess, he just learned quite a few tricks in dealing with life and its complexities. He had learned to say yes when he means yes and a big no when needed. He is more comfortable with the people around him, and is not after shielding himself against damages others may bring to him. He is more honest with himself and would acknowledge his capabilities and limitations. He had not yet reach the top of his aspirations yet comfortable enough where he is at this point in time, might he be afraid of what tomorrow may bring but is willing to take full advantage of the opportunities both visible and foreseeable.
To you young boy... I realized life should not be captured in a canvass, should not be hidden with words engraved in papers, it is here with me every moment I open my eyes, the very moment I felt a sensation, every time I interact with people and with nature. I may be too busy exhausting my force in exploring essence of life but I'll try to sit down once in a while, knock at my door when it is raining... so I could still connect with you and be able to convert moments with memories : )
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